It has been a while since I last blog, I just came to realize that I need this time or space to actually express myself out.
And today, I finally found out the answer to my question that I always asked myself.
Let's start what happen today
Today I got a Drama Workshop but in fact those who were called down were actually the Drama committee which were specially picked out by our instructor.
So in the morning I woke up around 9am?
I found out that I was late 'cause the workshop is 9am to 5pm.
ahaha is this how a Committee Member should behave?
Anyways! I met my friends at MacDonalds and Off to the School to had our workshop training.
We did alot of activity together and individually.
Okay so you might be wondering what so urgent, or why is it that I finally want to blog again?
The reason why I want to blog again is because I got no freaking one to turn too.
That's the truth.
Lover? What's the point of expressing when your partner got problems also
Best Friend? There's a certain thing that you just can't tell your BFF.
Friends? Will they understand or even bother?
Family? It is personal, the thing about me is that, I don't like to share my life story to my family because I was raise differently and taught not to trouble anyone.
Anyways! back to the story.
So yea, we were having activities to bond us and make us work together until this activity came up.
The activity was to identify yourself whether are you:
- Talent
- Leadership
- Administrator
So all of us sat in a circle and talk one by one.
Then I also notice that our instructor, Ms. Aidli Mosbit commented on each and everyone of us who have said our part.
when it came to my turn, I pick Talent and Leadership because of my past experience.
then it all came down to this part.
I was really waiting for her to comment on me, so that I know what's my strength and weaknesses.
So the word that came out from her mouth and really really upset me and disappoint with myself is this,
she said, I am the type of person who give Support to others, a hyped type of person, a person where most of the loud ones need to be with, without my type of person their are nothing.
well at first I take it positively but then, something just strike my mind.
Am I like a dog to a human?
Am I like an assistant to a boss?
Am I like a Side-Kick to a hero?
She is not the only person who told me this, there was a few of my friend who actually talked to me about this. One of them said this things to me already but he said in a positive kind of way.
he said I'm like those who always hyped up a group to do something. Like a Support Morale kind of thing.
I really appreciate the phrase he tried to put up without hurting my feelings but we both know that you can't fool me with words.
Well, that's not the only thing that upset me today.
After all that, we are suppose to break-up into 4 Different Groups.
- Leadership
- Administrator
- Talent
- Writer & Directors
I'm not complaining about anything but ..
Unfortunately I was chosen to be in Administrator?
there was 3 of us.
And the way I see it, they looked at us as if we got no freaking talent but Paper Work, A DOG kinda work. A Backstage Work to Support the Front ones !
What The Fuck?!
Of course I didn't show my emotion because I was taking it professionally.
but I mean come on! There were alot of other people but why me?
It not that I don't want to be in this group but I mean I deserve or I think I capable of doing much better than Admin stuff!
Fuck it, this is so unfair!
Under estimating someone capability is so wrong!
Why can't I be in Leadership because I don't know how to lead & be loud?
Why can't I be in Talent because I got none??
Why can't I be in Writer & Director because I am officially not good enough?
I really really sad about this situation but I guess there is nothing I can do and no one I can tell to .. So yea ='((
you have no idea what it is like to be in my shoe right now
to be born with this kind of personality and attitude.
Questions Of My Life ..